Why SuperBad was a horrible movie....

Ok, I'm sure you all saw the ads, you couldn't miss them, particularly in the week before Superbad dropped. You know, the ones where they talked about how this movie was going to define a generation, how it was going to be Clueless, the Breakfast Club and Rebel Without a Cause all rolled into one. Big bold type with references to Rolling Stone and Siskel and Roper about how great this movie was. Well, I'm here to tell you that though, this movie has its moments, this was not a very good movie, written by some pretty funny guys. But compared to Knocked Up and 40-Year Old Virgin, this was just a lackluster attempt, which needed a lot of work.

Now, as I've tried to explain, a movie is about a plot arc and characterization. SuperBad is lacking in both of these, and doesn't even make any attempt at them. Basically, the plot of this movie is about two geeky guys trying to get some sweet twattoms by bringing the liquor to this girl's party. It would have been a simple plot arc for them to have gotten the liquor in the beginning with the obvious forgery of McLovin's fake ID, but then through a bunch of wacky happenings, they get separated only to meet back up and realize that hey, the fake ID worked, and we didn't have to do all that crazy shit. That's how you make a coherent, cohesive plot line. But the two main characters don't get any, they don't get the specific liquors the girls asked for, and they pretty much piss the girls off that night, but the next day its all good with the chicks. Talk about a bunch of stuff happening that doesn't have anything to do with the motivations of characters. The only person who does get any is the sidekick nigga, Fogler who steals the movie. Half the movie was about McLovin/Fogler and the cops which had very little, if not nothing to do with the main characters. All the McLovin scenes didn't further the characterization of the two main characters, as most of it happens away from them, and without their knowledge and the fat kid gets some liqour on his own, thus making it irrelevant whether or not McLovin held on to the liquor he bought at the beginning of the whole misadventure. Fogler grows through his experience with the cops as he realizes, hey, I'm a kick ass dude, and that is what allows him to hook up with the chick in the end. Only to then find out that the cops knew he wasn't old enough, but they wanted to grow as people as well by rekindling their youth. See this is a plot, it has a protagonist, it has antagonists, and through a bunch of wacky happenings, the characters grow as people and become friends in the end. Nothing about what the two main characters go through helps them get puss, get the liquor their chicks asked for or made them look any bit more attractive to the chicks they were trying to get. In the end they are still two geeks who except for the mercy of the Lord have two hot, cool chicks willing to give them the time of day, but without the wherewithal to do anything about it.

As for the two main characters, what is their motivation, they are both trying to get pussy, but neither gets any, they are both trying to get the specific liquors their chicks asked for, but neither does. They run around, trying to get some trim by getting the chicks liquor, but the one chick's drink gets busted, luckily she was already drunk, so I guess no one cares about what she wanted to drink, but that's the skinny dude's whole motivation throughout the movie. That's the problem with the movie, its just a bunch of stuff that happens. The awkward skinny kid has been pining for this chick for years, never makes a move, finally gets a chance to fuck, realizes he doesn't want to fuck her cuz she's too drunk (which kind of cuts against what the whole movie is about), and then gets dissed by her as a pussy, only for everything to be cool the next day in the mall. With the fat guy, he takes the accidental pairing with a tight chick in class for a chance to fuck her, just because she asked him to bring liquor to her party. Then after he makes a complete ass of himself, she still wants to give him a chance, even though she has given no reason to want to be with him. What, just cuz he's funny, she wants to be his girlfriend? I mean at least throw in the azzwhole jock boyfriend who is pissing her off when he picks on the protagonists for being dorks like in Just One of the Guys. But after he gets drunk, thinks she's slutty enough to fuck him if he can get her drunk enough, blackens her eye, and shows up at the mall the next day, wow, its all good, sounds like the script of a cheesy romantic comedy to me.

And in the end, what do they learn from all of this no pussy getting? Oh, that they love each other but they have to let each other go. That's more pussy than they are trying to get. The funny thing is they don't even go through the whole movie together, they get separated early and often, but for some reason the moral of the story is that you need to let go and live their separate lives. Maybe I missed a huge section of this movie, but it just didn't live up to the usual good work I expect from the creators. Now don't get me wrong, the movie did have its moments, that period blood joint was too much. But, the movie was all over the place and didn't really have any direction. The ending was pretty abrupt, I had to think for a second if it truly was the end, cuz it didn't seem to deal with anything the guys had been struggling for all movie, dates, but no pussy. Maybe I'm a too much of a stickler, but come on, if you're going to sink millions of dollars into a movie and bill it as a generation definer, can we at least get a plot that makes sense. Can we at least try to make it something that will last longer than a generation, please....

So that's why I think SuperBad was a horrible movie....